Living my Believe

I've been on a journey, and there is no end in sight. Sometimes the going seems easy; the path is uncluttered, and I can clearly see God working in my life. But there are times...many times... when the terrain is rugged; the way forward shrouded in mystery, and I grope along clinging only to what- rather Who- I believe. 

It seems so long ago now... December 2014... when I was compelled to choose BELIEVE as my one word for 2015. Just like my sister, Marva, over at SunSparkleShine, for the past couple of years I have prayerfully chosen one word that epitomizes my heart desires... my goals... my areas to focus on or grow in for the upcoming year. I have been simply blown away with how God has used this process in my life... so I should have had some idea what was coming. 

But God...

He never ceases to amaze. And through my journey into 'Believe'... my striving to live my 'Believe'... He has so personally and persistently stretched me and molded me and called me to come deeper... deeper into Him... deeper into living Who I believe. 

You see my friends, at the start of 2015, while our family was still adjusting to a major job change and relocation, and I was beginning to feel the strain of preparing my teenager for international examinations I was also desperately trying to find a way to help us all cope with the grave illness that was stealing my father away. I was thirsty for God's rest and 'I would have lost heart, unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living' (Psalm 27:13).

I had to pause and refocus my thoughts, my heart... I didn't want to be like the Israelites who '...could not enter in because of unbelief' (Hebrews 3:19). 

Perhaps I thought if I could work on my 'believe', then I would... You see, I mistakenly thought it was a simple IF/THEN relationship. IF I believe that God is who He says He is,  that He is faithful, unchanging, near me, the author and finisher of my faith, the Almighty who promises to never leave me and rewards those who diligently seek Him, THEN I would love Him and others, give thanks, praise Him, grow, thrive, believe everything is possible, show mercy to others, wait patiently, hope, be content, be peaceful...and the list goes on - there would be clear evidence of fruit in my life.

Living my 'Believe'

You know the saying - 'everyday can't be Christmas', but I figured why not? If I believe... then Christmas should live in me everyday and just like at Christmas time I would remember Jesus and what He has done for me and I would love Him with all of me (Mark 12:30) and love my brother sincerely from the heart in thought, word and deed (1 John 3:18).

I DO BELIEVE... and I am thankful to God who is the author and finisher of my faith. I am thankful that my salvation is a gift from God, solely dependent on Jesus and what He has done for me, a gift I could never repay. I am thankful that once I was dead but God quickened me and now I live. So... what was missing... what was stopping me? Why is it then that like Paul '...I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do--this I keep on doing.' Romans 7:19


Here, my friends, is what God has been teaching me.  Yes, I believe,  but I am called to diligently apply and practice the principles of the word of God in my life. I am called to 'take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ' (2 Corinthians 10:5).

I have been writing recently about remembering never to forget. But the key -God gently and persistently reminds me -is knowing what to remember and what to forget. You see to live my 'believe'  I must choose to forget me and remember Christ. Forget my weaknesses and inabilities, my propensity to fail, my past mistakes... and remember that God is all powerful and that His spirit lives in me and that I can do all things through Him who gives me strength (Philippians 4:13).  I must choose to forget what lies behind and 'press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus' (Philippians 3:13) . I must choose to remember that God is Enough and He is all that I need. I must choose to forget the speck of sawdust in my brother's eye and remember the plank in my own... (Mathew 7:3) I must choose to remember how deep and wide is the love that God has lavished on me and how thirsty my brother is for that love.  I must choose...

But the choosing is not easy. It is a battle of the will and it requires work. You see, we are called to love God with our minds so that we can love Him with our will and actions. And submitting that will takes effort and persistence but "God says that the song belongs to those who never, ever give up in implementing the truth of God's word in their lives." (Quote by David Jeremiah) God promises that if I abide (John 15:4) in Him, He will abide in me and then there will be much fruit in my life, and I choose to believe Him.

Yes, the journey continues but thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord, victory is possible (Romans7:24) and I can live my 'believe'... And not just at Christmas.

What about you? Does Christmas live in you? Are you living what you believe? Go even deeper... what do you believe? Take a few minutes this Christmas and ponder 'what' rather 'who' you believe. My prayer is that you will believe in Him whom God has sent (John 6:29) and that God will grant you His power to live your 'believe' (Philippians 4:13).

Please enjoy the following song as you ponder 'who' you believe. Blessings to you, my friend.

  

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Living my Believe

Never To Forget

On June 6, 2015, my father experienced a new beginning. Two days later, as I wrestled with my emotions, I prayed - 'Oh God, help me never to forget my father!'  And I wrote...   

I don’t want to ever forget…

… how blessed I was to have him in my life.

… our conversations, profound and deep into the mysteries of life.

We agreed to disagree often and he would say – further along at a higher level of consciousness I’d understand. He truly believed in the power of the mind. His wisdom was remarkable, and he had a way of seeing things that was truly his own. ‘This too shall pass’ was his sage advice regarding every bump in life from the least to the greatest.

… his calm almost nonchalant attitude about things.

 He truly did mellow as he aged, and I thank God that I was able to experience and enjoy that side of him. He moved from one who didn’t relish taking pictures to taking lots happily with his children and grandchildren in his later years. Although considered an introvert, he touched many by his care, concern and generosity.  Taking flowers for the nurses and inviting them to his home - his kind and courteous manner was noticed and admired by all.

As he grew older, he became more and more aware of God’s blessings in his life. He would often say he’s drinking from his saucer because his cup has overflowed. He told me that he never expected to live past 33… so to get to 88 with all his children and grandchildren, and the love he felt from them made him feel like a truly blessed man. And he was never too busy to help others bear their load, a virtue he passed onto his children. He often told us never to pass the Salvation Army – the work they do is necessary.

He wasn’t a man that showed a lot of emotion, yet we felt and were assured of his sincere love for us. He didn’t talk a lot but when he did, it showed a keen depth of understanding of the human heart and condition.

Don’t want to forget his keen mind and interest in news events. He was always listening to the news from around the world and whenever some new issue or event came up, we would discuss and analyze together. He had such knowledge and insight.

Don’t want to forget his wish and hope for peaceful living. I thank God that he passed peacefully in his sleep, possibly unaware of his crossing from life to death. He didn’t want to leave us… didn’t want to say goodbye… his love for us too great, but he also accepted ‘God’s will be done’ and knew how blessed he was. ‘Thine will be done’ he would often say during his last admission. He felt it was the beginning of the end, but prayerfully may it be a new beginning for his soul’s journey with God. He would often quote a dear friend who assured him to see his illness not as the beginning of the end but as a new beginning. This he pondered, and I think he accepted. He left this world with hope… never losing hope. I didn’t say ‘goodbye’, I said, ‘Meet me on the other side’, and he would smile and nod – remembering this brings me comfort and reminds me never to forget 'our hope'. May his soul find rest in God alone - the Source of all hope. 

Don’t want to forget the support of my family. In their own way, given their own strengths and weaknesses; everyone came together and did his or her part to get us through together. Despite all our little shortcomings, I won’t trade my family for the world. They were not shy to grieve the loss of daddy, and their outpouring of raw emotion touched me deeply. Our togetherness is surely a legacy to daddy.

My darling daughter says of Papa – his was always a happy presence – even when we were there and he wasn’t talking much – he was happy to be with us and made us happy just by his presence with us - profound thoughts from the mouth of babes. May I always carry that presence with me and perhaps in some small way touch others the way my father once did.

What about you? What legacy are you leaving? What do you hope people will never forget about you?

As you ponder that question, please enjoy Live Like That by Sidewalk Prophets. 

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Never To Forget